Where I've been

You may be asking yourself (or maybe not) where the heck is She?

Well I have been visiting a very dark place. Doesn't always happen this time of year but I re-injured my back and I believe the Summers adventures are catching up to me.

When I re-injure my back and it is all I can do to be civil to my family, friends and the critters. It is exhausting to just get through another day. I thank God for such a wonderful family who supports me and knows enough to stay at arms length least they meet with my wrath. It is unavoidable at times and when I feel overwhelmed I try to take a nap. Of course I don't sleep because of the pain but it is quiet time that I can reflect, find the strength that God gave me and calm myself down. Copious quantities of hugs from loved ones helps tremendously.

I was also challenged by a person of "faith" about how my relationship with God wasn't as it should be. I have found my peace again, although that took some time. This person made me feel "wrong" about my love of God and my relationship with him and all that goes with it. I have determined that "NO ONE" should be able to have that kind of power over anyone. Faith is faith, just have it and bask in the love of God and feel it to your soul. SHEESH! I also have noticed that since I have not followed that persons path that they no longer socialize with my family or myself. Their loss.

Well today is the Inauguration of the forty fourth American President. I will have my children watch and co-ordinate the occasion with Martin Luther Kings' theories and principle of "Civil Rights". I will also teach my children to listen to what they say as well as realize that all people who speak to you are giving you their opinions and beliefs. Not all people practice what they preach and a person should be well informed from many different sources. Our country was built on Slavery not only of black people but of white people who were sold into servitude when our nation was very young and were looking for a better life. Many of our first settlers were people who served masters that treated them with cruelty and never made it out of this servitude. In America third to Illegal Drugs Sales, Weapon Sales, Human trafficing which is also illegal is the third most popular form of business. How can this happen? I don't know but it still exists and something should be done to change our way of dealing with it. How about making it more public for a start?

One thing for sure is the next American President can not fix our current economic or social situations in the mere four years that he will be in office. I can only hope that he serves his constituents with honesty (which would be a first) and loyalty. Let's face it although he won by electoral votes he only won by three percentage points of the popular vote (I haven't quite figured this out yet, I guess when you win a state you must get all the electoral votes as they don't share?). However has anyone noticed that the winner is embraced and supported because it was a fair election (no matter how mind numbing the length!).

The farm is well and we are trudging through about a foot or more of the Winters fruit. It has been exciting weather and we are enjoying it with sledding, four wheel drive and lots of tea and hot chocolate. We are nearly out of wood but I am unable to do anything about it. When the last fire dies the cold will settle to my bones. I hope they will be able to pry me from the water bed.

Soon kidding season will start. I must order new supplies immediately. Then the Chick, Poult and hog orders. Eye Glass appointments for the family. Well I will start with the cookie trays and wait for my client who is picking up 250 eggs. This will help the income slump and help pay for the load of grain tomorrow.

Stay warm and I will try to post more often. My back permitting. Can't sit too long these days......like I ever do?

What is new?

Well life is slowing to a mere mad scramble now. Take care of the animals and make sure the water stays open for drinking. Birds harvested and pens and coops cleaned for next season.

With Christmas around the corner I have decided to stay home and send out our Christmas cards. The cards were designed and made by us. It was a fun project and everyone participated.

My one Guernsey has decided she does not like being milked by machine so she needs to be hobbled every day twice a day or she will kick. Sure I milk her by hand still but sometimes there is a need to other things that can be done while she is being milked. I don't understand but I am trying and am being patient with her. I don't blame her as I remember how when I would express for the children when breast feeding it wasn't always the most pleasant of sensations. For some cows the let down process can be painful and if brought on quickly I can only imagine what the poor girl is thinking (what beast is attacking me now........kill it with a kick!)

We are about half way through our winter supply of hay and will request some more soon as I would like to save some of the second cutting for the Does when the Kidd.

The chickens are laying up a storm and I have a regular client who picks up 200 eggs about every week or so. Nice. We have been without eggs for so long I will be sure never to let the layers run out again. Supplemental income during the winter is a valuable asset since not much of anything else is available.

4-H is quiet and I have realized that the leader is slowing down on her exuberance. They are not planning as many events since the turn out was mostly us and their children and the burden to help the club thrive should come from all the members.

So I am off to clean the Kitchen and get ready to start baking cookies. The children are busy doing their school work and later we can bring the trees in for decoration. What fun.

Are we winding down yet?

Well just when I thought things were going to get easier well lets just say it was a fleeting thought at best.

All three calves have been born and now we have enough milk for everyone. Yes one cow was late one on time and one early. I hope to make some hard cheeses this winter while I await the frenzy of Kidding season.

A couple of holidays in between but no parties again this Christmas. Even my children have mentioned that they miss the parties that we have, First the Pignic in July, Pumpkin carving in October and the Christmas Eve open house. This year I have decided not to have a Christmas Eve open house but will instead have a "cabin fever" party sometime in January. Maybe the third week. I often still have my tree up until the early teens so I feel this is a safe time. I tend to take the tree down when there is a definite chance of spontaneous combustion with the heat from the wood stoves. I am such a safety minded person aren't I?

No rushing to make the cookies, just sit back and relax and wait until things get boring and whalla lets have a get-together.

I will have the cookie trays ready and by then Christmas would have worn off and some rich treats will be just the thing to go with Cocoa after a sledding afternoon or just a day out doing animal care or wood gathering or what ever it is that one does during the coldest part of the year. Yes napping sounds awfully sweet at this time of the day.

I hope the cookies will be appreciated at least. I make so many and if people would rather I not I would understand. Wait, I think I will make the cookies for Christmas and just go around visiting everyone and see their tree and decoration. I so believe that Christmas is about children and the one who walks with us all daily. I like to see how others celebrate.

All and more turkey were harvested for the Thanksgiving holiday and I still have about 30 birds left. One set of roasting chickens to go and that is it until next February. Wait.........I guess I don't have much down time really......what am I thinking.

I will go and advertise on some cyber sites but am doing little in the way of paying for advertising since I have learned in the past that I don't get any return on Newspaper adverts. Marketing is very difficult.

I am going to buy some 4-H Curriculum for the children (of course with me in mind). Entrepreneur, small engine repair, computer lab, and several others that are pertinent to our lifestyle. I hope this will give them a better understanding as to why we do what we do. Life experience, since we will put what we learn into practice.

Perhaps I will even get to the Blog a little bit more........I am not promising anything......

I thought you were late

I felt that the first time heifer "Lovely" was over-due her calf date. I was very correct because "Just" had her calf last night! That would make "Lovely" over due by about two weeks!

Just in case you were wondering it was another Bull calf who has yet to be named. OK, I just named him "Ditto" since they are colored exactly the same (well about as close as you can get) except the second one has a bit of curl to his hair and probably horns too. Close enough and the message to the children is the same.

Well tomorrow is Election Day. Yes, I am deep in thought still. I will vote and I hope you will also. Don't come and complain to me unless you do vote. It only takes a few minutes and then we can talk about politics. Not that I like talking politics but if you participate I would be willing. I was surprised at how many people don't vote. There were 200,000,000 (that's two hundred million)voters in 1997. There must be more by now. In the average election only around 50% of registered voters will participate. Disgusting numbers and disappointing to say the least. Nuff Said.

Well I must go. I have to take some animals to auction, and the Ducks that were harvested (18 total) to where they are wanted and go to a "Mega" store and purchase just enough food to see us through next week. I miss the garden already. It was very convenient to just go out an pick dinner. So many different combinations.

My son and daughter have dug up all the "Canna Rhizomes" (don't you just love fancy words) and my son wants to try and sell them at a dollar a pound. A real bargain since they go for 25.00 per plant at any local nursery. The Canna roots that he dug up will set at least five per rhizome.

Well off to my busy day, have a great one.

Miracles and the Constitution

We were blessed with another birth on our farm last night. Our first time heifer Lovely had a beautiful bull calf that I have named "Clive". This name because it refers to a fictional character that we know of who is dead. This helps the children realize that the calf is being raised as red veal. The birth was uncomplicated but the heifer (OK, cow now) was difficult to milk out. With my very bad back, I, on a constant basis say "THAT'S IT, I AM DONE WITH COWS!". She kicked as I tried to gently wash her udder, kicked while I not so gently clipped her udder, and kicked while she was trying to be milked (can you imagine she let the veal calves all nurse on her and one had a weaner ring!). I have given up trying to milk first time fresheners by hand. In the past I have been injured which took many months to recuperate. Then I think of all that golden milk and flavorful cheese and yogurt and well I just keep the cows........Guernseys are a wonderful home milker.

There are things in my life I can count on. A frisky first time freshener, the Sun rising in the East, the weather in New England to change quickly. One thing I also understand and hold to be true is the Constitution of the United States.

In Connecticut every twenty years the question is posed to the voters if they would like to hold a Constitutional Convention. This would allow the delegates to try and change our Constitution. Am I missing something? I believe there is nothing wrong with Our Constitution. What is wrong is that Lawyers and Politicians (who are mostly blood sucking lawyers, shall I really tell you how I feel?) want to change the Constitution to fit their greedy agenda.

It is the same greed that caused the recent Stock Market burp. Greed that brought down the Federal Mortgage Company's of Fannie Mae and Fannie Mac all of which not a single person has been accountable. I know there were "very important people (at least in their minds)" who were in charge that were paid obviously more than they were worth. None will take responsibility for what happened, saying they never saw it coming. The highly worshiped Alan Greenspan is shocked that all these events have happened and doesn't understand how. We let these people govern our lives?

I don't understand how one person can enter Harvard Law School with a 3.3 GPA no honors after two years at Columbia and finish 4.0 GPA Magna Cum Laude. Another miracle must have taken place (information from the Wall Street Journal). Are you sure it wasn't Hogwarts he was attending? Another enters the prestigious Naval Academy to wind up fifth from the bottom. Honesty. It is all I am looking for. Life experience does count. A stable up bringing may now be a thing of the past.

Well it isn't a thing of the past around my house. Be reasonable. Don't try to fix what isn't broken. If it has worked for he past 2oo plus years without too many amendments perhaps you should just leave it alone and grow some common sense and learn how to take responsibility for your actions. This country still has streets made of gold but you may (should) only be able to get there with hard work, honesty and loyalty. Greed shouldn't play a factor. Use your good old fashioned know how, present ideas that will work in new and different ways that can pay for themselves. There are no "Free rides". Like everyone else, follow the rules (don't try to change them) and you too can walk the golden highway.

Just another day

It is very difficult to loose any thing of value.

It is especially difficult if the thing is a living breathing object (most difficult being a loved one which is not the content of this entry).

There are some who say a farmer becomes insensitive or callous when it comes to harvesting or culling herds or flock. I believe that it is the realization that the strong preserve the species (profit) and the weak will die sooner (loss). As any good business person knows it is imperative to stay in the black.

So, what do we really have invested and what investment is it worth into any particular aspect of the farm? There are exceptions to every rule. A favorite dog, cat, cow, goat, sow, horse as you can see there is a point to this.

How much does one invest (spend) to save a pet. Being realistic and with children and high taxes to pay and realizing the replacement costs of the original animal I have in my minds eye a very specific target. Others who have disposable income or little outside interests can get carried away with how much they invest in an animal or pet. I have, in the not to distant past, lost my beloved Rottweiler. The vet suggested (fraud in any other form?) that I have him go through chemo and the such to help him live another 6-12 months. The tune was 5000.00. We will run it through your health insurance. I have children the farm and of course where I live and trying to make ends meet. There was no option, on decision, just the heart wrenching guilt that "I didn't love my Rottie" according to the veterinarians implied remarks and termination of Doctor client relations (oh boy a topic for another rant).

It is even more difficult if you have sheltered your children from the experience of death and haven't let them learn how to grieve. The children expect you to spend absorptive amounts of money to "SAVE" whomever the pet is. How can you say no? When do we realize that grief has a price tag? Loneliness has a price tag. I'm sure it is quality of life not quantity of life all of us reach for. Visit an elder care facility and tell me the drugged limp creatures that need to be rolled so they don't develop sores would think their quality of life was wonderful. This is why we have living wills, (pull the plug please).

Reeves (his first name escapes me) who broke his neck in a horse riding accident had the money (disposable income) to maintain a level or quality of life that he felt was acceptable.......or was it his wife and family? Can you imagine the stess, how depressed he was, can't be good for any care taker. When he died (bedsore infection) she died 18 months later (lung cancer). Do you think stress played a roll?

Back to the animals. If you have animals love them and care for them as they deserve. I would highly recommend that you not spend monies that will keep you in debt to save a life whose quality may not be the best. Learn how to grieve and not to guilt. There is a big difference.

So your saying what the heck is this all about you babbling idiot? Well yesterday I spent three hours digging a very large hole for my neighbors rescued Primerian Mare. An animal who had lived an awful life but who's last year was wonderful. An animal of compromised Constitution but never the less loved and cherished. It was obvious (to me anyway) that there was a lot going on with this animal. I am not say she was neglected but she was a large draft type who was an easy keeper, gentle and had given up her head of herd position. The horse knew, the owner didn't. A couple of incidents and conformation issues I noticed but never mentioned. I have been told I am a control freak, obnoxious, over bearing, opinionated, so I now say "well if it were mine this is what I would do" or "I can tell you what I would do if it were mine" (besides your gonna die). This gives people the chance to ask my opinion or not. These days I prefer not.

So end of story. They didn't ask, I didn't tell, just gave the support asked for (OK, maybe a little more). The mare died, I knew she may not have gotten the treatment I would have given her, but to the same end. They are a 1000.00 in the red after making her spend an agonizing night trying to keep her alive.

I dug the hole and buried her. Careful to move the rock from under her head, place her legs in a comfortable position. Cover her with a tarp and put dirt over her to prevent the rocks from hitting her. Every time I bury an animal it seems I relive all the loved ones I have ever lost. It is not the death that brings the tears it is the absence in my heart and hand that bring on renewed grief.

Election time "down at the Farm"

If you hadn't noticed lately the time to pick a new president is upon us. I have been referred to the ten percentile, the people who haven't made up their minds yet.
So Sue Me! No I don't stand outside when it rains and look up! I am tired of the same old politics. (Hold onto your hat here it comes......)

Why is it that almost a Billion dollars has been spent on an office that pays 400,000.00 a year. One candidate has raised eight times the amount of the other candidate. Am I supposed to be naive enough to think that the cronyism won't be out for those who contributed. I would love to see the breakdown of who contributed what!

Neither candidate has the stand on issues that I feel are important:
First! WHAT HAPPENED TO THE WAR IN IRAQ? They have been reporting on the WOMD recovered and the Mass Media has taken a back seat to recording this? What is going on over there, how are our troops doing, when can they come home?

Second! Why are we bailing out a bunch of people who created a catastrophe due to greed? No one is going to jail over this? Let me see if I can get away with it and see where I end up.

Third! Energy. Will someone please take us to the next level and fund and grant monies to American companies that are creating affordable wind and solar power and other alternative types of energies. Lets not drill yet......

Fourth! Why is it that the government elected officials keep granting themselves raises when I can barely scratch out a living? They only work a third of the year and are way overpaid as it is.

Fifth! Abortion. Its a women's body don't let the government tell her what to do with it. Which brings up number .........

Six! Education. No child left behind? Is this why both my children are now home schooled? The local elementry school could afford new paving, carpeting, speed trenches, metal security gates, a front door security lock and yet my daughter who is going into fourth grade can not read or comprehend Math? (yes, I am foaming at the mouth right now!!!!).

Easy now.......calm down.......breathe......in through the nose........out through the mouth.........

It seems we have little control out of our out of control government. Excersice you right to vote. Just do it.

Right about now I will excersice my right to a cool, damp (yet invigorating) afternoon of animal care. Enjoy the spectacular fall foliage. Help those who want to be helped (has that cow calved yet), who give back to our system. Who serve our system and ask for little in return (dairy goats are so non demanding). Those who make our farm work with team effort (yes piggies drink your milk and eat your eggs). I don't have any problem shipping those who don't participate (stinkin ducks).

If only our government could see how lost they have become.